Tuesday, 29 November 2016

Sad times...:(

Our hearts are broken, my sweet father passed away last Wednesday morning :( The Dementia advanced much more quickly in the latter stages than any of us expected. In a matter of weeks, we lost his cheeky smile and comments, his tales and laughter. In some ways it may be a blessing that he didn't suffer the last horrible stage too long. He is released from the pain and cruelty that is Dementia and Alzheimer's ...in the last day or so of his life he was still able to tell my Mum that he loved his Marjorie ..even though we are not sure he knew he was talking to mum...small comforts that will stay with us forever.  my poor mum is heartbroken , she has lost her husband, her companion, her love. Arrangements have to be made ..and I have been slightly overwhelmed with all that is required, I never fully understood all that needs to be done, but I think we have everything in place now. Dad's funeral will be a very quiet affair, Dad will be surrounded by his family,  just the way he would have wanted it :)  We had some beautiful sweet moments a day prior to his passing where all the family that were able spent some time talking to dad and sharing last farewells. Jacob was able to telephone from Madrid to say goodbye to his Granddad, Dad wasn't conscious but I hope some small part of him heard the lovely words we all had to say and felt the love that his family have for him. We wont be flying Jacob home for the funeral either, its  not what my Dad would have wanted, but Jacob sent some beautiful words to be read out at the service to be held on Friday :) Abigael will share them on his behalf, and as we read them we were all filled with how well Jake described the man that we all love so much ... I'll close with his words, just so that in years to come we can remember and smile .... 

John Kenneth 'Ken' Gray
27 September 1928 - 23 November 2016
When I hear the word "Grandad" I think of happiness, of joy. I think of joking around and having fun. I think of laughter and smiles. I think of all the cycling we watched. I think of his garden, of the apples and the berries. I think of buying chips and gravy at the market in Leeds. I think of the little tables we would get out to eat our dinner on. I think about the long walks in the countryside, seeing the horses and feeding them from our hands. I think about the times he came over and picked us up from school. I think about the beach in Scarborough, riding on the donkeys, making sand castles and running around with buckets of water. I think of love.

When I think of love, the love that my Grandad has, it's endless; without restrictions, without conditions or terms. I remember as a child we would receive a letter every now and again from Grandad and every time there would be 50p in each letter. I don't remember what he wrote, or if I even understood what it was that he wrote, but I do remember the 50p. To a small child 50p can seem a lot, to many of us now it doesn't seem like anything. But there was so much more to it than just 50p, it was a reminder that our Grandad loved us, that he was always thinking about us. Even though we lived far apart and we couldn't see each other often he found a way to constantly show his love for us. No matter how cheeky or mischievous we were his love was never exhausted. No matter how many buckets of cold sea water we poured over him we would still go back the next year to do the same.

My Grandad is one of the greatest examples of love there is. An example that I want to follow the rest of my life. I've felt my Grandads love whilst here in Spain, and I will continue to feel it till I see him again. I know when we meet again it will be like it was when we were last together. I'll always remember his smile and I'll be waiting anxiously to see it again.
I Love you Grandad, Jacob xx

Hugs Wendy x x 

Thursday, 10 November 2016

its finally time....

to get the fluffy socks and snuggle blankets out ... Bbrrrrr its been cold the last couple of days ...there's been more than a few hot chocolates (with marshmallows and cream, naturally!) sipped just lately ;) We've had a few busy weeks, there's been a lot of running around backwards and forwards to my parents in Southport. My Dad hasn't been very well,  he had a fall several weeks ago and he's been  in and out of hospital and sadly it seems his Dementia and Alzheimer's has taken a dramatic turn for the worse. Its been a horrible time to be honest, :(  to see someone, my Daddy, the man that has loved and cherished and taken care of me all my life becoming someone who is not himself. My heart feels like it is breaking, I miss my Daddy. I miss our silly moments and our silly games, I miss his hugs and his soothing words, I miss his off-key singing and his terrible rhyming, I miss his voice. :(  and I cant even begin to imagine how my poor poor heartbroken  Mum is feeling .... :(   As I said, because of Dads deterioration, Mum and I have had to make the heartbreaking decision this week that Dad needs to be somewhere that he can be taken care of properly.  He now needs full time  nursing care and Mum simply cant manage that on her own at home. I desperately wish I could have Dad at home with me, but with my Angels that unfortunately wouldn't be good for him or them.  Mum and I have discussed things and we feel that Dad needs to be as close to family as possible so we are hoping to find a Nursing home for him here in Chorley close to me and his grandchildren, we've also decided to move Mum to Chorley too so that we are all together and can continue to love and support one another. So  we now need to begin the process of finding somewhere for both Dad and Mum  to live and be as happy as we all can be. The next few weeks or so are going to be a hectic and worrisome time, we are hoping that we can all be settled in time for Christmas but it may take longer .... lots of prayers will be said I'm sure :)  

 Sitting with Mum and Dad over the last few weeks, amidst all the tears and sadness I've found comfort in my stitching, it  has enabled me to keep my fingers busy and my mind distracted and focused ...does that make sense? :) 
I have one  wrinkly finish ...but its still a finish :)
Babushka's Blossoms by Plum Street Samplers is finally out of my hoop and in its place ....
 "Halloween Sampler"  by Cottage Garden Samplers ...I didn't  quite  manage to get it finished in time for Halloween this year but it was a very welcome distraction :) 

I also finished several small (portable) woolly projects by Buttermilk Basin Designs and 'All thru the Night' -Bonnie Sullivan designs. they were fun,  satisfying and quick stitches ...just what I needed

They will probably sit in my basket for awhile, I'm not sure I'll have time to visit my sewing machine for awhile yet :(  Tomorrow I have 2 or 3 Nursing homes to visit and a  few bungalows and flats to view for Mum too, all before my Angels get home from school ..haha. I'm hoping I'll have a better idea of where we can make sure Dad will be happy and cared for and Mum will be comfortable and happy too. I hope to be back with more bedside stitching, but if not you know where I am...trying to keep out of trouble.... :)

Hugs Wendy x x x